Here is is:
There is a wind that kills. It kisses your cheeks with the softness of linen, but its touch is deathly cold. An icy hand that decapitates your soul and pulls you under to the never ending hole of killer rabid bunnies who eat cad berry eggs, and gnaw on the knuckles of humans and their spindly blood pink tinted pineapple of joy! Then the mangos come to life and devour the left over finger nails with their sharp seed-like teeth. You cry out in agony, reaching towards a fate that will never rescue you from the gore that blinds you.
There is a chain saw. It is not your friend. No, not your friend, never your friend. Your lover, amigo, playmate, chain saw buddy of death!
Then Edward comes and calls you “love.” With his sparkling hands he carries you out of this pit of despair and into the sunset.
Bella is not happy. Because he got her a dandy lion instead of a rose. Grrrrrrrrr
Jacob and Renesmee are playing in the park together. Then harry potter shows up! Woah, JACOB JUST IMPRINTED ON HARRY POTTER!
“NO . . . I wants Harry Potter. Harry Potter is mine!” says Smeagle.
Smeagle lunges towards harry leaving the ring abandoned on the ground. Taking out riptide Percy Jackson cuts the melon in half and they all freeze. It was silent until baby renesmee whispered the words that would change all of their lives . . . “Cotton candy.”
Dun. . . dun . . . dun . . .
Hidden behind a large oak tree on the edge of the park, Peeta grabs Katniss’s hand, steadying the taught bowstring.
“You know, we don’t have to shoot them.”
“Of course we do! We’re all in the Games now. It’s the rules.”
Taking the berries out of her pocket she chucked them into the clearing. Everybody dived even president Lincoln and they all scrambled to get the obviously poisonous berries into their mouth.
Renesmee got there first. With a gasp, she fell to the ground, her normally speedy heart rate steadying.
All at once, the rabid bunnies and mangos tore from the ground and tore her body apart, dismembering it within seconds.
The winds are always pleasant but they kill.
Well, talk to y'all later!